


peace

by blueslytherin



Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: F/F, I just want them to be happy, Inspired by folklore, Lesbians, Songfic, collection of oneshots, specifically peace
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:09:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25980367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueslytherin/pseuds/blueslytherin
Summary: Emma Nolan loves Alyssa GreeneAlyssa Greene loves Emma NolanSmall moments from their relationship
Relationships: Alyssa Greene/Emma Nolan
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	peace

**Author's Note:**

> i am incredibly touch starved and i want someone to hold me.
> 
> based around peace by taylor swift

Today was one of Alyssa’s bad days. Homework and cheerleading and her mother's constant criticism had pushed down on her, and the weight on her shoulders was too much to handle. The words on her computer screen spun, a sure sign of a migraine. She didn't trust herself to be alone on days like these, where she was the only one bearing witness to her darkest thoughts. With shaking hands, she picked up her phone and typed out a quick message to her girlfriend. _I need you._

Emma’s response came instantly. c _oming over now. are you okay???_

_I don’t know._

Alyssa was so tired. Tired of going through the same routine day after day, hoping that something new would rise through the mundanity. The girl she was in Edgewater was a brittle shell of the person she wanted to be, and she hated every moment she plastered on this fake smile for people who hated her. She told herself that everything would change soon. A year from now, she’d be in college, away from Edgewater and the dreams it stifled in its children. But getting through the year was the hard part. She felt like a caged bird, freedom taunting her from the other side of the bars, and she didn’t know how much longer she could pretend to be okay with it.

Alyssa’s phone slipped out of her fingertips and onto the floor. She leaned down to pick it up, but was suddenly overwhelmed with a wave of anxiety. She breathed in, trying to steady herself, but it caught in the hollow of her throat and came out in a shuddering gasp. Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes, and her limbs became heavy. The world narrowed. Outside noises became fuzzy, and she was only aware of her too-fast heartbeat.

She leaned over in her chair, touching her forehead to the cool metal of her desk and hoping the chill would shock her out of this anxiety attack. It didn’t work, and Alyssa felt her tears run down her face and drip onto the calculus assignment she was working on.

She wanted to die. _Funny that you want to die,_ the twisted voice inside her head said, _when the only thing you want is to truly live._ But it was true. She didn't have the patience or energy to survive another year. Death was the only way to escape this nightmare.

Through the fog, she heard the squeak of her childhood bedroom’s door. Footsteps muffled by her plush carpet. Then, a soft hand on her shoulder, its partner returning her phone to its place on her desk.

“Alyssa,” her girlfriend said gently. “Hey, hey, I’m here.” The hand on her shoulder traveled down to her back, Emma murmuring soft words to her and rubbing small circles through the fabric of her shirt. Alyssa leaned into her touch, breathing it in to center herself. _Nothing bad is going to happen when Emma's here._

Emma kissed the top of her head, reaching around to take Alyssa's hand. “Can you breathe with me, honey? In and out?” She exaggerated her breaths, and Alyssa copied her. Her own breaths came out shaky at first, but with Emma's guidance, it became easier. 

The panic subsided as she came back into her body, and was replaced with sadness. The type of sadness she was all too familiar with, that bordered on the edge of being numb. She couldn't cry, couldn't do anything other than lift her head up and stare blankly at Emma. 

"Are you feeling any better?" Emma asked. 

Alyssa shook her head. 

Emma leaned back and sat down on Alyssa's bed. She patted the spot next to her, and Alyssa's legs took her there. She collapsed into her girlfriend's arms, head resting in the crook of Emma's shoulder, hoping to eliminate any inch of space between them. Emma radiated heat, like the fireplace Alyssa’s mother lit during the cold winter nights, and Alyssa drank in her warmth. The close contact set her skin ablaze, and it softened her heart. 

As if held back by a dam that had burst, her feelings came back to her. 

"I want to die." Alyssa whispered into her girlfriend's neck, clinging onto her like she was the only person left in the universe.

Emma wasn't fazed. They'd had this conversation many times before. "I know, honey. I know. But you're not going to. 

She stopped to press a kiss against Alyssa's neck, then continued. "You're going to have a good long life, and you're going to burn so bright that everyone in this shitty town will be jealous of you. Everything will be okay in the end. I promise." 

And despite the lingering worries in the back of Alyssa's mind. She believed Emma. Because, well, Emma was the only gift Edgewater gave her. 

She was safe when she was with Emma. Nothing could harm her. Her girlfriend burned like blue flame, and that blaze brightened her life and soothed Alyssa's need to escape for just a little while. She wasn't Alyssa Greene: AP student, Head Cheerleader, Mama's little darling. She was simply Alyssa Greene, free to dream as much as she wanted. 

Emma didn’t solve Alyssa's problems. But in that moment, she made things better.

**Author's Note:**

> this chapter is kinda inspired by my own experiences. i've been going through what alyssa has for a long time, and writing about it is cathartic
> 
> find me on instagram and tumblr - shadynightkingdom


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